winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1-100 of the 2006 List. Last year I did not post my 500 list because I didn�t feel like having to defend myself. This year I AM posting my 500 list because I have no intention of defending myself.
So, anyway.
Here�s the yearly schpeal: every year (whether I share it with you or not) I make a list of 500 things which are true about me at this time- just little self-identifiers that are either silly, stupid, insightful or interesting (or in combination.) They aren�t intended to help you decide if I�m your kind of girl or to give you fodder for criticism. They help me measure where I am, where I was and where I think I should be. I�ve done this for about ten years now and I keep a copy of each of the lists that I�ve made. Sometimes I will only compare and contrast the current year and its predecessor and sometimes I will go all the way back to the beginning. In the end, it�s always the changes in the smallest details that interest me, those things that you probably wouldn�t notice if you only chose to make a list of 100. So, for better or for worse, here�s 500 pieces of me: (100 pieces at a time) 1. I am snacking on carrots and celery right now. 2. I wish I were eating chocolate. 3. I am pretty sure that I will give in and eat some of the chocolate that is sitting in the candy dish near my desk by the day�s end. 4. I gained five pounds this last month. 5. I stopped exercising (completely) for three weeks straight. 6. I�m tempted to blame at least one of those pounds on water retention and my period. 7. I did X at the beginning of this year with a friend that I trusted. 8. Given the opportunity, I�ll do it again. 9. LOVED it. It was like nothing I�d ever done before. 10. Here�s the geeky side of me: I talked to a friend who has done it on multiple occasions and to a doctor, at length, about my intentions and concerns before I took it. Just to be on the safe side. 11. I know. That�s like JUST ALMOST living on the wild side, huh? 12. I just finished my first glass of water, today. 13. Normally, I would have finished two by now (Its 12:00 p.m. on the dot.) 14. I have chosen to work in the dark (not turn the lights on in my office.) 15. There�s something very comforting about not having the lights on. 16. It�s overcast outside and I wish it would rain. 17. I don�t particularly like the rain. 18. I�m not as concerned about our lack of rainfall this year as everyone else seems to be. 19. I wish it would rain because I�d like to take a nap. 20. The last thing I need to do is take a nap. 21. I get cold, easily. 22. Right now, if you were to touch my nose you could feel how cold I am. 23. My tire is flat again. 24. I miss Bruce working here. 25. I like the way he looks out for me. 26. I like that when he looks out for me, there isn�t some subversive motive behind it. 27. I�d marry him for that reason alone. 28. I think about getting married a lot. 29. I think about it far more than any single woman should. 30. I don�t even know if I�m ashamed to say that I would marry out of comfort, these days, rather than love. 31. I think I lie to myself more than I do other people. 32. I�m mad at myself for not taking the opportunity to go off, by myself, to go camping a couple of weekends ago. 33. I�m not happy. 34. I�m not unhappy, either. 35. I�m worried that my fingernails are too thin. 36. I spent over six hours this weekend separating my son�s Lego sets by color and function. 37. I spent my Friday night cleaning. For no reason, other than to have something to do, I didn�t stop cleaning and re-organizing until 3:00 in the morning. 38. I miss the money I used to make when I was playing poker regularly. 39. An extra grand a month probably doesn�t seem like a lot to some people but it would if you lost it, I think. 40. I�m trying to change my music tastes. 41. I think that if I could change what I�m listening to, that might pick me up a little. 42. For some unexplainable reason, the second toe on my right foot is completely unpainted, while every other toe bares a deep red polish. 43. I worry about my finances a lot, lately. 44. I�m frustrated that, because Justin needs so much extra attention here lately, I am working less hours and not getting the overtime I used to get. 45. I have lots of good intentions. 46. I lack a lot of initiative. 47. A thought that lingers in my head a lot: �You�re almost there.� 48. I�m not even sure what that means. 49. I�m reading the DaVinci Code. 50. I keep thinking that if I re-read �Little Women� it would cheer me up and give me more inspiration. 51. I have so much drive after reading that book. 52. Watching the movie just isn�t the same for me. 53. I need a manicure. 54. I need a new hairstyle. 55. My hair is the first thing that most people notice about me. 56. I Googled information on Betty and Joseph again this past weekend. 57. I found about as much information as I did when I Googled them three months ago. 58. I don�t know what keeps me from calling them. 59. �Until I try to think of how I will begin the conversation. 60. �And, then, what they may not say. 61. I still organize my cutlery drawers and cabinets and towel shelves with the notion, �Would I be ashamed of my mother seeing this.� 62. I REALLY like Exploding Dog art. I�ve thought about changing my web design around it but changed my mind since I just re-did this not too long ago. 63. I don�t post journal entries like I should. 64. I feel blocked. Or boring. 65. I think the most poignant things I say (in print) are usually said to Andy. 66. I�m much funnier than I think this list portrays. 67. I�m much happier than I think this list portrays. 68. I could just be lying to myself again. 69. I procrastinate a lot more than I used to. 70. I hate procrastination. 71. I miss talking to Christian. 72. I don�t miss defending myself against him. 73. I think that if we could have done more talking and less defending, things would have been different. 74. Oh great!!!! I just got an email from my boss saying that any and all OVERTIME now has to be approved. 75. I just said �NO� to my first temptation to eat one of those chocolates. 76. I�m wearing a black corset under my dress. 77. I always forget (until about two hours into the wearing of them) how frustrated I get with garters and stockings. 78. I sure do like the look of them, though. 79. I have so many pieces of nice lingerie. 80. I never get to wear them. 81. Sometimes I wear them to bed just for fuck�s sake. (Or NOT- as it turns out.) 82. I only feel silly about it when I get up in the morning. 83. I still haven�t found what I�m looking for. 84. I�m not quite sure what that is. 85. I miss my sisters. 86. I�m not exactly sure who shut who out. 87. I should write my brother. 88. I have too much pride. 89. I have too many shoes. 90. I own three pair of earrings- all of which are clip on. 91. I have several necklaces that don't match a single thing I own but I like them too much to get rid of them. 92. I want to go on another cruise this coming fall. 93. I�m not sure which one I�ll go on. 94. Despite being warned that it would happen, I am never prepared for the times when my children make me feel helpless. 95. I took especial care with my hair this morning. 96. I felt like I was pampering myself when I slipped into the corset and stockings. 97. I picked out a pretty, delicate dress to wear to work. 98. Then, I didn�t put on any make up. 99. I don�t write to Donnie enough. 100. I�m not wearing any polish on my fingernails. 10:32 a.m. - May 02, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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