winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't know, Maybe. The refrigerator people have (again) put me off. "Sorry about this... it's just this mix up... blah, blah, blah... that excuse...blah, blah, blah" Whatever. I am giving you this one last day and then I won't be cordial and understanding anymore. Today was... interesting. I don't know how else to say it other than that. I couldn't get to my computer because we are downloading all this new software on to it. When finished, I'll have complete control of the security system. Not really sure how much that's going to suck but I can tell you it's going to be an experience. So anyway, because the IT guys were on the computer all day, I was reduced to sitting on the side of my desk and answering the phone and flirting with the farmer. (Is it possible that my knight in shining armor could be driving a tractor and could use terms like "those are my 'goin' to town britches'? I don't know. I don't like farms. I don't like shooting things. I only really like animals in theory. I don't want to ring any chickens necks or go hog hunting. I'm not really all the interested to see how they make moonshine. At the same time, he is really cute and there is something about that simple kind of life that's attractive.) I've just been easily aggrivated today- not at my co-workers (I'm never aggrivated at them) But, I definitely have been at Shannon and absolutely at David. and it's probably because I'm tired. Or that I feel crowded. Or that... oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm just hormonal. Do you ever just want to pick something up and throw it across the room- really hard- because the mere release of the object is pacifying and the sound of it shattering against something stable satiates a need that not even you understand? Well, that's how I feel. I'm tired. Maybe I'll just go to bed and sleep the night away. Maybe everything will be different tomorrow. Maybe I'll eat these entire boxes of Girl Scout cookies that I bought from my boss' daughter. Those thin mints sure do look good. Maybe I'll let this farmer sweep me off my feet. Only he's a farmer and he doesn't sweep so quickly. Maybe I'll do more than flirt with him tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll say yes. YEah, maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll load the kids in the car this weekend and just go somewhere we've never been. Somewhere not really all that interesting just somewhere that isn't here. Maybe I'll start writing, again. I'll figure out where one of the many stories I've started is supposed to go and I'll take it there. Maybe I'll finish something. Maybe I'll just buy some lumber and build something- something strong and unique and maybe this time I won't give it away. Maybe I'll make something nice and believe that I deserve to keep it for myself. Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll go get my hair cut. Something different. Something that makes me look less like a little girl with a little girl's cut. Maybe I'll go out and dance all night and sing really bad karaoke at the top of my lungs. Maybe I'll do that. Fuck it. I'm just going to go to bed. I'll finish the laundry tomorrow and I'll clean up the fucking mess they've made in the kitchen when I get home from work. I'm feeling lousy and I'm getting sick and I'm feeling stuck. Maybe I'll just cry myself to sleep and I'll feel better later. 6:59 p.m. - February 17, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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