winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For Nana "True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness"--Friedrich Nietzsche This will be short as I will be returning to bed directly. I have spent all night watching the jagged lines that measured my Nana's life, one by one, go flat. My Nana is dead. I'm not sure if I can comprehend it yet but I have chosen, for the time being, to mourn in private. My family seems to understand my need even better than I do. I'm sure that there will be entries detailing my many funny memories of her but right now I'm reduced to this one: My Nana took turns calling each of us girls, on an average, of 6 times a day. My favorite of these calls were the ones where, upon answering, she'd say, "I'm just calling to tell you I'm all right." I would laugh about it with my sisters- who, in turn, had received identical messages. What little I slept this morning, before rising to take my son to school, was gained from crying myself to sleep wishing for just one more of those phone calls. I am so full of love today that it hurts, sincerely. So, I'm off to bed to nurse my broken heart. "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." --Mahatma Gandhi 7:57 a.m. - 2004-04-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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