winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Torturing Myself "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." --Mozart I've been wallowing in this emotion lately. It's the feeling of longing. Wanting. Hoping. Needing. It's an achy, breath-taking feeling but I think it's one of my favorites because whatever it is that I'm longing for, hoping for, wanting or needing, I feel it so deeply that it almost consumes me.. Sure, it makes me pissy, sometimes. Sure, I sometimes find myself crying into a lonely pillow- tired of the emotion and just wanting it to just go away- willing to beg someone to take it away. Sure, it's the expression of an emptiness or a void, but it really is a wonderful feeling. There are times, like recently, when I indulge it. I slip in the sounds that heighten the emotions and let the sad notes of "Play Me" or "The Long and Winding Road" float over me and I remember what it was to have him next to me or what it will be like when he is finally here. I suppose that the loneliness is easier to bear knowing it's almost over and I can feel this, now- and wallow in it- so that, one of these days when I do have him, I will remember the days when I did nothing but long for him so deeply that it would make me want to cry. 9:28 a.m. - 2003-05-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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