winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What I get for writing at bedtime. I find myself reaching for you at night and, sometimes, the mere hope of you is so overwhelming it makes my chest constrict. I stare at the empty space, which you only fill on holidays, and I find myself tracing your imagined silhouette into the pillow. My leg trespasses to your side of the bed and I picture it wrapping around you, pulling you into me, burying my face in your chest. � And I revel in the longing. I want you here, beside me. I want to feel the weight of you in my bed, turning in the night. I want to listen to the patterns of your breathing before they lull you into a deserving sleep. I want to spend those few remaining moments before sleep claims me to listen to how well we breath together. I want to reach over and touch your cheek, ever so lightly, while I whisper unheard oaths in your ear. I want to fight the urge to curl into your arms for fear that I might disturb your peace. �And I want to revel in the wanting. I revel because I know a time will come when I will stop listening to the harmony of our breathing patterns and your presence beside me will become as accepted as your unnoticed movements. Though grateful for you, still, you will become my second nature and I will only study the subtleties when I face the inevitable fear of losing them. Then, while my fragile, shaky hand traces your silhouette, once again, I will wish for the days of my revelry. God, I miss you. 12:32 p.m. - 2003-01-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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