winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Beginning of Me. �For me, a page of good prose is where one hears the rain.� - John Cheever Anyway, Good morning, world. Happy Monday to everyone. Last night, unlike the many nights before it, I slept like a baby. A baby, mind you, that sleeps through the night, soundly, without waking in starts to search for some form of security. Last night was the first night since Shannon left that I didn�t swim to his side of the bed and instinctively expect to find him there. Interestingly enough, the lack of expectation made that bed feel less immense, and I- in turn- felt less lost. Progress, I think. This morning, mere minutes before the clock was scheduled to start screaming at me, I woke to the pounding of heavy rain. And, instead of wanting to snuggle deeper into the comforter- letting the tippy-tap, tippy-tap, tippy-tap sounds of the rain hum me back to sleep- I rose bright and refreshed, as though waking from a hundred-years sleep. I know it�s been a while since I�ve written. Rather, it�s been a while since I�ve written anything of substance. Its just that things have been in such a whirlwind that it�s really just taken more time than I've had to sort it all out and put it into a coherant journal entry. To make a long, twisting story short I will simply say that several of the jobs for which I was applying (in an attempt to afford the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed- or so sayeth Charles-) started panning out. I explained to my boss (who I knew would understand) that I was going to have to take some of my annual leave to go on some interviews. He was very helpful, even offering possible places at which I might apply. He said that he completely understood but, whilst I was interviewing for other jobs, he wanted to see if he could get me enough of a raise that I wouldn't have to leave. (How great of a boss is that, I ask you???) Well, the Managing Officer (What amounts to our CEO) came down last week and asked to take me to lunch, during which he and my immediate boss offered me a 54% raise. Keep in mind that they asked me to come to the table with a number in mind and believe me when I say that as I was trying to figure what I could live with and what I thought they would offer me, I wasn't anywhere NEAR that number. PLUS, I get an additional 4% "cost of living" raise on October 1st. The Managing Officer, who assigned me the additional duty of being his Personal Assistant six months ago, told me that though they have basically created a new position in our company for me- that he also wanted me to maintain my previous position- because he didn't trust anyone else with the job. It was a huge ego boost, I have to tell you. And I'm going to take it. I know that with that raise comes an increased work load, but I think that the raise more than justifies the increased responsibility. Besides, I like marketing. It taps into my creative side. Not only am I getting paid more, but I actually look forward to coming to work and doing my job. I love that feeling. Win. Win. Win. Win. Win. I can finally feel myself starting to settle into my own life. I fit in my job. I am beginning to fit in my bed. And for the first time in fifteen years, I own my free time. Its amazing how good it feels to not have to justify CHOOSING to simply do "nothing" if that's what I want to do. I'm breathing a sigh of relief I've not been able to muster in quite some time. I seriously feel better about myself than I have in a long time. My silence, lately, has just been the result of the work required to get me here. Well, boys and girls, it's steadily approaching my bedtime. There's a really large, empty bed calling my name and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I look forward to crawling into it.
(See how I did that? See how I didn't really care if it frustrated you to read a jacked up entry? Cool, huh?)
10:44 p.m. - August 15, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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