winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now I lay me down to sleep... I just laid my six-year-old daughter down to sleep, from where she'd been laying with her head in my lap for the last three hours. She's sick, so she let me stroke her hair- offering her what comfort I could. As she lay there, I thought back to when she was a baby and- even when she was ill- she refused to let me coddle her. It felt good. It felt good to hold my baby- who, of course, isn't so much of a baby any more. I thought about how quickly time has slipped from me and how she had gone from this tiny little thing to this little girl who uses expressions like, "sweeeeeet," when referring to something she thinks is cool. It also made me wonder about what she'll be like when these legs- that haven't quite mastered her training wheel-less bike- will become more shapely and will learn to manipulate the gas and break and clutch of an automobile. What expressions will she use then? How will she wear the strands of blonde that have just begun to lose the last of her baby curls? What will she do when she's sick and she's too old to let me stroke her hair and comfort her? I know that life is just a series of phases. I've come to understand and- harder still- accept that. I also realize that the ease with which we move through those phases is dependant upon (among other things) our attitudes, our personalities, our strengths and our weaknesses. I also realize how much, as their mother, my interaction with them will shape those essential elements. And I can't help but wonder what effect it will have. So, with my little girl's head in my lap and while softly caressing the fevered forehead, I thought that if I had to chose the ten most important things that I can teach my children- what would they be? Believe me it was hard. With each notion, there seemed another just as- if not more important than the one before it and the list of lessons I hope to pass on began to grow. In the end, these are what I settled on: 1. It's not enough to be the master of your own fate but you must understand that you are. We are all faced with obstacles- only you decide if you will give up or if you will go on. 2. You should never chose or deny relationships based on superficial characteristics. Some of my best friends in the world are those of the opposite sex and some of the most influential people I've ever met were my friends from different cultures. 3. Weigh your choices, carefully. Your instincts will seldom lead you wrong, but failing to think things through almost always will. 4. Don't be afraid of the truth. It's the greatest gift you have to offer those people with whom you have relationships. Our truths are who we are- they are our strenghts and weaknesses, they are our talents and faults. Nothing allows us to love more deeply or to to choose more wisely than to accept who you and your loved ones are. 5. Accept responsibility. We've heard it all our lives, "the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem." And as trite as it might be, therein lies the truth. The most unhappy people I've ever known are the ones who spend their lives blaming others for their lot in life instead of owning up to their actions and attempting to overcome their weaknesses. 6. Question Authority. Question God. Questions heads of state. Question your teachers. You are the only one to blame if you allow people to sell you air. Any God that I could ever believe in would not create a being, give it an intellect and then tell it not to use it. 7. Don't under estimate the joy that comes from performing random acts of kindness. It will feed your soul in a way that is almost incomparable. You will be given a multitude of things in life but some of the things you will remember most are the things you gave away. 8. As much as I will always worry about my children I want them to taste everything life offers. I want them to love deeply and to have their hearts broken. I want them to ride in the front of a roller coaster and to lay in the middle of a field. I want them to laugh so hard that they cry and I want them to cry so hard that they sleep. Life is too short- it's too beautiful- not to be a part of it. 9. Learn the differences between looking and seeing and listening and hearing. It's the difference between observing and experiencing. Chose experience. And, finally, I want them to know that... 8:44 p.m. - January 12, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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