winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.\" Anonymous You know, sometimes the best advice is the hardest to follow. I've had nightmares- or unsettling dreams,at the very least- since I returned from vacation. A vacation I've not yet written about because (1) I haven't had the time I'd like to devote to it and (2) I don't have the pictures developed, yet, to offer a full pictorial view of the unexpected good time I had. The other night I dreamed that I found a way back onto the cruise ship and hid away in a closet so that I didn't have to come home. After the ship was at sea I made my way to one of the lounge/ auditoriums where I found Christian, acting in one of the productions. I sat at the very back of the auditorium and watched, in awe, the way I used to when he was on stage. When it was over I kept trying to get into one of the dining rooms to get a bottle of wine but, because I was a stow away, they wouldn't let me in. Unexpectedly, I ran into my sister, Sonya, who informed me that she found out what I had done and had paid for my trip and her's and that I could now, in fact, go in and get my bottle of wine. Only, as I was going into the dining room to get it, there was a huge storm brewing outside and the swells were threatening to capsize the boat. Instead of finding ourselves trying to make our way to the bottom of the ship like the passengers in the "Poseiden Adventure" the waves pushed our boat off coarse and into a trap where a group of terrorist were waiting to seize the ship. The terrorists, then, forced all the passengers off of the ship and onto what looked like a cargo ship where we were taken to an remote island. By this time, I was starting to get frustrated. Strike that. I was getting pissed off. All I wanted was my bottle of wine. That's all. And now I'm a hostage. Before I know it, my emotions overcome me, and I start mouthing off. It doesn't take long before I find that I was able to piss off just about every terrorist who came within ten feet of me. And as much as I would have liked the rational part of me to override my emotions and take note that nothing seemed to be happening to any of the other hostages who were finding a way to keep their big mouths shut, I found myself completely unable to do so. And, to no one's surprise- just before I woke up, I was being strung up to a rafter- where even my fellow hostages seemed relieved that I could no longer put them in harms way. I hate having to admit that, sometimes, I really am my own worst enemy. In other news, I returned to a couple of disturbing and rather sad situations- which I won't document since they are not really MY situations. They just effect me, residually. I've also had my children, for the first time in almost a month, for their last week before school starts back. And to top it off, after being gone for a well-deserved week of rest and relaxation, absolutely everyone else in the office has decided to take off work. Which, needless to say, made a chaotic week more chaotic and has kept me in the office until well into the evening most of the week. I am looking for a new path forward. One with a little less chaos. One that offers a whole lot more time with my children, a lot less stress and one, I hope, that offers me more time to develop a social life. It can't be good to hope that you might get fired. Especially when you know that you'd never do anything that would warrant it. 8:34 p.m. - August 15, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||