winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm a baaaaad, baaaaad, girl. Long sigh... So how are you today, boys and girls? Things looking great in your neck of the woods? Are you "powerful well," as my dear friend Andrew likes to ask? I really hope that you are. I wish everyone out there a sense of peace and fulfillment, today. I don't know how to place the feeling I'm having, today. Some of my behavior has been exhibited as anger and animosity but the truth is that I'm not feeling any of that. I've just been unwilling to let people push me around, today. It's strange, this sense of not caring if I piss people off. "Can I work until 8:00 tonight?" "Yeah, I can. But I won't." "Why WON'T you?" "Because I don't have to." "But you DO HAVE to. I need you to work late. We need these jobs filled." "Actually, your needing me to and my being required to are really two different things. I'm not working late tonight." "Why not. What are you doing?" "That's not really any of your business. But it won't be working here." And you know what? He got mad. You know what else? I didn't get fired and he didn't spontaneously combust and I didn't die and the world didn't end. None of that happened. He just got mad and I just walked away and I didn't HAVE to do something I didn't WANT to do. Very curious. My other dear (though harsh) friend, Charles, is apt to tell me that he believes me to have no conscience. This has bothered me because- though he has this nasty habit of being right so often- I had to disagree. And if nothing else, I had the opportunity to prove him wrong by betraying the very thing he thinks I lack. Or, at the very least, I had a new and wonderful experience. It was much like my very first orgasm: I was always afraid of what was on the other side, despite how much people said that I would enjoy it. And in the second when I finally pulled it off, I instantly wanted to do it again. Anyway. Hope you learned something new, today, too. 6:33 p.m. - July 26, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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