winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go home. "Marriage is like a pair of shears Oft times working in opposite directions, but punishing anyone that comes between them."--Sydney SmithI was once the wife of a wanderer. I had a husband who was discontent (for whatever reason) and took every opportunity to sit closer to single girls. I�m not quite as stupid as most people want to believe. I know that while he was out and about with these girls that, eventually, they start asking about that ring on his finger (when he wore the ring). I also know that he was- no doubt- telling them all the things that they needed to hear to feel better about consorting with a married man. Sure, he was married but his wife was cold to him in this way or neglectful of his needs in that way or he just didn�t feel for her (me) the way he used to. And, to be honest, there was a part of me that was attentive to his needs that ached inside when I thought about it. The other part of me that should have felt possessive, willing to get up in some pathetic girl�s face and say, �Hey, step off my man� really just felt sorry for these girls. I found myself wondering how gullible do they have to be? Really. Can�t they see that they�re being duped into offering this guy the extra attention he feels he needs right now? They are play toys. They make him feel young and virile. But, after he�s done playing with them, he goes home- to the wife he can�t leave. To the wife he won�t leave. To the house they built together. To the pictures on their walls. To the one who re-heats his dinner after he�s stayed out late. To the bed she made for them. Men like toys, no doubt. They will crave them and manipulate to get them like a child would a new action figure. But what they need- what they want- is security. I�m no longer the wife of a wanderer. I�m a single, professional woman who- believe it or not- has learned a thing or two. I know that when married men pursue me that they aren�t looking for a replacement for their dreadful, wanting wife. They aren�t hoping that someday soon we will start a wonderful, joyous, happy life together. They want to play with a new toy. They just want a little taste of something different from what they already have. They want a little excitement. And that�s all I am in their neat, tidy, little lives: entertainment. They don�t see their future in my eyes. If they did, they�d march me right into their house and stand me in front of their wives and, then, tell those wives how they �really� feel. They wouldn�t be asking me to go to dinner with them in dark, unknown restaurants or try to sneak me off to out of town hotels where we could hold hands in public and kiss whenever we want to. They wouldn�t ask me to go to somewhere else so that they could show me their �true� feelings about me. So, to all you married guys who come wandering around, thinking I just fell off the turnip truck with nothing but my desperation to guide me, know this: I didn�t like being the over-looked wife and I like being the object of your distraction, even less. When you take that ring off your finger and slip it into your pocket, know that the impression it leaves behind is more offensive to me than if you came in here covered in bile. Now, go home!
4:48 p.m. - 2003-09-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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