winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Circle Never Ends You must do the thing you think you cannot do.Eleanor Roosevelt Oh gosh, where to begin... where to begin. I'll begin with pain in my thighs and calves and arms and shoulders. I�d returned to my regular exercise routine several weeks ago but, even that didn't prepare me for the grueling workout I endured this weekend. I moved (almost) all of my stuff from my second story apartment to the new house and almost completely on my own. I was very grateful to RayRay and Shannon who stopped by for different reasons and stayed to help schlep my heavier belongings (like the couches and the huge fist tank) over to the new house. Neither of them had to help and I owe both of them a debt of gratitude for doing so. Though I still have a tad bit more to move and some cleaning to do at the apartment, I took the last of the weekend�s loads over to the house at 6:30 this morning. I am now existing on the fifteen minutes of sleep I allowed myself at one o�clock. And I will not have an early night of it, tonight, either. Side note on RayRay: He is still having trouble with the fact that I'm not coming back and we aren't going to be this big old happy family again. We are trying to be amicable. We are trying to co-parent. We are trying everything that we can to assure the children that we both love them, but we are not- I repeat: NOT- working on rekindling our relationship. (And, yes, I have told him this. I tell him this repeatedly). But, healthy or not, he took the break with Christian as a sign of hope when he just shouldn�t have. (And, yes, I have told him that, too.) Side note on Shannon: After moving to Norman with his wife, they determined that a four month absence does not always make the heart grow fonder and are, now, going to be getting a divorce. We talked about what he should do and how he�s feeling. He says that he only wants the big screen TV but that he�s at this point where he�d be happy just to walk away from everything else they have together, just so that he can walk away. And you know, I have to sigh when I hear that. I have to sigh because I know how that felt. It�s why I DID walk away from everything and I ended up with a piece of crap car and my children separated- despite being told, repeatedly, by other who�d gone through it, that I didn�t have to. I want to tell him what everyone told me. But I wonder if he�ll hear me- like I didn�t hear Christian, like Christian didn�t hear his mom, like (I�m sure) his mom didn�t listen to whomever tried to counsel her during her divorce. It�s a sad, vicious cycle, isn�t it? And I am just a link in the chain. So, that�s about it. I should have everything done today and I should be spending my first night in the new house this evening. Don�t let the exhaustion fool you, though, I�m still so excited that I could just burst. 10:22 a.m. - 2003-08-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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