winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, one more thing...

Okay, so just one more thing...

My mood is hard to describe, today. But, with my best foot forward, this is as good as it gets:

Have you ever just wanted to say something to someone but already know, instinctively, what they are going to say in return so you just keep hearing your unspoken thoughts ramble inside your head over and over again? That's me. That's my mood. That's my state of mind. I have things I want to say to people. To certain people. But I just don't. And it's not really the "what's the use" kind of frame of mind that keeps me from doing it. It's knowing that, for the most part, they'll be right.

That part of me that would, say, want to run to someone and shake them and say, "God, you fool, I love you. Don't you know what that means" knows that they are just words without actions. Intentions without results that can be garaunteed. Words.

As I write this, I wonder if I should post it. Is posting this still saying too much? But, after all, this is my journal. These are my feelings. This is my way of working it out so I'll post it, anyway. But, I hate this feeling. I hate knowing the best thing for me to do is to just shut up and, well, DO IT.

It will get better- or it won't, but- in the end, it will all be my doing.

12:15 p.m. - 2003-07-23

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next