winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary

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Silly girlish love.

I've had incredibly strange dreams, lately, my sleep patterns are off, again, and I've developed strange bruises in odd places- for no memorable reason.

What else? Let me see. Oh yes, the car is still running like crap, I still haven't filed my taxes and due to the death of a co-worker's family member, our Regional Manager and VP will not be coming down on Friday to negotiate my raise. Figures.

On top of that, I miss Christian with an intensity unknown to me. Yes, I've loved poorly in past. Yes, Christian has been the recipiant of that love-at-an-arm's-length, also in the past. Yes, I suppose I did know that it wouldn't all be beds of roses and walking on the beach when finally I let myself love someone fully. But...

...But, he's right. It's best that we not focus on how much we miss each other but that we focus on bridging the gap. And I am. Still, it's hard to deny how much I miss the sound of his voice or the shape of his mouth or the warmth of his body against mine.

I'm a silly girl, sometimes, I know. I struggle with my silly childishness everyday. But last night, in the throws of exhaustion I gave in. I put his ring on my finger and, like a love-sick puppy, stared at a picture of the face miss so much and fell asleep before I had a chance to call him.

Damned my silly girl heart.

9:01 a.m. - 2003-03-05

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