winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keep Kicking Me, YOU aren't going to knock me down. Let me tell you a story about a girl that I thought had patience, but I know, now, has just been naive. This particular girl, lets call her�well, let�s just say she�s me, was hired on as a professional at an offensively low pay rate. Now, keep in mind that situations were explained at the onset of employment and promises were made that once said situations were resolved, the pay rate would be resolved, also. Perhaps it would help if I explained the situation. I was hired to work as a Staffing Consultant and Personnel Supervisor. That simply means that I determine what types of jobs people are best suited for. I, then, find those people jobs in those prospective fields, after which I supervise their employment to make sure that both the Client (company) and the Associate (worker) are satisfied with the match. Simple enough. I was hired for two reasons, neither of which included our corporate office�s understanding of how short handed the office was. The first reason was because our company picked up a large client that required special attention. My presence allowed those who were here before me to provide that attention. The second reason, and the one that affected my pay rate, was due to the fact that (the once Branch Manager and current Sales Associate) was going to begin her political campaign and would only be �working� part-time for our office. We�ll call that associate Angela. Now, Angela was going to have to stay on the payroll (despite her disinterest in continuing to work for the company) during her campaign- as was stipulated in her contract. Of course, I would have to wait until after the election and, subsequently, after her resignation to resolve the offensively low pay rate situation. So I was patient. Well, as the campaign moved closer to the election I discussed with my Branch Manager (we�ll call him Brad) their intentions to rectify the pay rate situation. He assured me that it was being discussed but we would definitely have to wait until after the election to see it bear fruit but that it would be done. Great. More incentive to be patient. Look at me being patient. Right before the election, a large company that I was trying to land wanted us to submit a proposal. Landing this company would make our office. It would secure the pay raise as well as provide me with a promotion that would help me when it came time to make my transition to the west. We labored and toiled and toiled and labored. I worked hellacious over time, which earned the disdain of my family and threats to have my son taken from me. But, I needed the money so I needed to work. At the last minute, the client chose to remain with their current staffing company- taking with them (for free, mind you) the staffing solutions that we created for them while burning the midnight oil. Bye-bye big Client. Bye-bye promotion. Bye-bye promise that the pay rate fiasco would be resolved sooner. Still, there was only a month until the election. I could wait a month. I remained patient. November came. Votes were cast. Handfuls of confetti were tossed. Turns out that few of those votes (and none of the confetti) were for Angela but I still had reason to celebrate. My time had come even if Angela�s time had passed. When the election was over, I asked, again: When will I be getting the raise. Again I was assured that it would come. It would come. They needed to get the details of Angela�s resignation under way but it WOULD come. Was I patient? Well, yes, but not quite so much. Did I understand? Sure, but I was also loosing ground on the caring part. December, then. Okay. I�ll wait until December but I started laying my lines. Meanwhile I was given papers that said that Raymond was filing for sole custody of my two children and my sisters were reminding me how little time I was spending with them and that they were concerned about how much time I was spending at work. Work. Work I had to do to try to afford travelling fees for attorneys or hire a different one for a different county. I still needed to eat. My children still wanted Christmas presents. I still had to work. December came and went. Did the raise? No. Did I wait? Yes. What was I waiting for? Well, I was waiting for their next excuse, which came in the form of, �Well, it�s the end of the year. They are going to wait until after the holidays.� I got through the holidays (just barely) with a $25 bonus and a turkey and I wondered what they were going to tell me at the beginning of the year. Turns out, �NO,� is what they were going to tell me. And it came from the top. NO ONE would be given a raise. NO ONE. We would, however, be given this year�s projections that, of course, exceeded the projections for the year before. This of course meant that I would be asked to do more, this year, for the same offensively low rate I was already being under-paid to do the year before. I was gut-punched. I stood up, held my head high and spent some time on my own. Which is my way. Within the next few days, upper management reassured me that they were still pulling for me, bending ears, explaining situations. My raise was still in the works. I needed to not give up hope, just yet. But, I was giving up hope. I was beginning to understand. I had no more patience. So, when that member of upper management was in the office this week, I asked, point blank: Where are we on the pay rate situation? �Well, Heather, it doesn�t look like we are going to be able to do anything about it until after the first quarter.� (March.) HA! HA! HA! If it hadn�t taken every ounce of strength I had to keep from crying, I would have laughed hysterically. I would have. I would have laughed in front of them until I was rolling on the floor holding my side. But, I didn�t. But, I didn�t cry either. I knew. I finally knew. Sure, I gave the necessary lines of guilt fodder: �Fine. Look, I understand the pressure you guys are under. I understand that you guys are having hard times. I understand that times are tough and money is tight. I understand. I�ve been understanding. I have understood while driving a car that barely makes it back and forth to work. I�ve been understanding while my son spends his free time in this office so that I can work overtime and am, still, unable to afford childcare. I�ve understood while I call my daughter at night because I can�t afford to fight for custody of her. I think I�ve been understanding. I have more than understood while I hire people with far less education than me for far more money. You are right. Things are hard for you.� I was met with, �Well, what are you making an hour?� I would repeat the amount but I�m not sure I could bear to admit how offensively low I�m being paid to get nowhere. Suffice it to say the look on her face was that of shock. I�m not sure she even knew how little I was getting paid. Sure, she�s going to talk to Scott on Thursday. Great. Wonderful. Outstanding. Do I think they are going to talk about making it possible for me to buy groceries this month or meeting my rent (which went up $100)? No. No, I don�t think that any more because I went from being patient to gullible to just plain fed up. I wanted to get depressed, last night. I wanted to go home and cry. Still, they aren�t going to knock me down and they aren�t going to make me cry. That won�t happen, again- not by anyone. I swear to it. All I have is my belief that I�m going somewhere and people can only hold me still and keep me down if I let them. 1:34 p.m. - 2003-01-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||