winkgirl4's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another reason why my family won't know about this diary... Oh, yes. Thanksgiving. Come in, won�t you join us at the table? There�s a seat right over there on the end. Let me introduce you to everyone while they�re spouting off their traditional �What I�m Thankful For�� lists. Right beside you is my Nana. When she first got here she was cranky and obstinate (which is her norm) but she�s had about 5 glasses of wine so she�s harmless. Don�t let that sweet, fragile old lady look fool you. She may act crazy but believe me, it�s all an act- she means every single spiteful thing she says. Oh, how nice. Nana is thankful for her grandchildren (even though, she knows, none of them ever come out to see her, despite the fact that she�s in a wheelchair and has to lug around this oxygen machine and is getting ready to die.) Yes, yes- she�s also thankful that she has what health she does and that, at least today, her hernia and angina aren�t acting up. Here, Nana, let me get you another glass of wine. That�s my grandfather. He goes by Jr. Oh, okay. Good. He is going to put his fork down long enough to tell us what he�s thankful for. (I was a little afraid that he might not.) Jr. works at the local Army Ammunition Plant and is thankful that we live in a god damned country where we�re free and where we can say whatever the hell we want without getting shot in the ass for it- and damn it, that�s something to be proud of. Sure, we can pass the yams, Jr.. There you go. Ah, yes. Meet my self-righteous, Catholic, brother-in-law, Richie. He�s busy carving the turkey as he believes he is the patriarch of our familial structure and, therefore, it�s his responsibility. No, Richie, I wouldn�t be interested in the right wing. You go right ahead. Richie is thankful for his new daughter (as well he should be. He should also be thankful that she looks like our side of the family.) He�s also thankful for his beautiful wife, Sonya, who�s sitting right next to him. Sonya�s my little sister and is not so happy about her place under his heels. Sonya, too, is thankful for the daughter that they worked nine years to create but she�d also be thankful for just a little bit more help with Maria. She�s not asking for much, really. If he�d just get up from his G. D-ed (she crosses herself to think it) wrestling and football every once in a while to make sure that the baby�s pacifier is still in her mouth while Sonya is on the front porch smoking her frustrations away, that would be nice. Meet my sister, Kitty (Katrina). Kitty is the mother-hen I spoke about before. She�s only slightly younger than the drama queen that ran, crying, from my living room the other night, and who�s not here tonight because she�s chasing a man who admits he�ll never love her. Kitty�s here, so quickly after my grandfather�s funeral, because she wouldn�t miss this opportunity to order us around on a holiday. (She doesn�t say it, but we know that she�s thankful she didn�t miss her chance.) Oh, yes . This is my brother-in-law, Monte. Monte is married to Kitty and is grateful that the Prison, where he works, hasn�t decided to furlough the workers, just yet. (He should be grateful that they haven�t fired him, altogether, for insubordination involving his inability to get up for work on time because he�d been �up� all night downloading porn from bdsm websites.) And I�m Heather. Hello. How are you? I�m the middle child. I�m sitting down here with my 4th glass of wine, grateful that my children have stopped hitting one another long enough to complain about how there isn�t anything that they want to eat on the three tables laden with food. I�m thankful that by, finally, being here, my sisters and grandmother can stop systematically calling me to ask how long I�m going to be and when I will be showing up and could I please bring the whatever-it-is-now. I�m grateful to have found the last fucking can of cranberry sauce in the store as it�s the only thing that my four-year-old daughter wanted to �cook� for Thanksgiving. But most of all, I�m thankful that food gives you the perfect excuse to keep your god-damned mouth shut. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! 5:34 p.m. - 2002-11-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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